God’s Next Army: Design of the Robopots

(A proper rant, humour me)

I was watching this program on Channel 4 last night (2000hrs GMT – or is it BST?) and although I missed the first 20 minutes, I was left quite queasy and a whole lot worried.

This should definitely have been renamed:

God’s Next Army: The making of the Robopots (Robot Politicians)

Dr Who: Rise of the Bushlets (The bush referring to the human not the woods),

Or according to Darius:

God’s Next Army: The Unintelligent Design’d Humans

(This entry is dedicated to Darius – If he happens by he sure will have a few things to say – albeit with more humour and intelligence than I can muster)

This documentary focused on Patrick Henry College (PHC), set up five years ago in Virginia (pause, read link in Wiki, digest, read on), near Washington DC. It has at least 300 students, who are being‘designed’ to be the America’s Next Top Model – and that has nothing to do with brawn, but more to do with brains. The next President, Lawyer, Policy Makers – essentially the next Washington bigwigs – literally.

These are kids in University who were predominantly schooled at home in their early years, have had little or no contact with the outside world as it were – in the sense that the whole ‘evil evil world’ seems to completely fly over their heads – literally – and are taught everything with the Bible in one hand and the text book in the other (Kinda pseudo-slavery, in my view).

Now, I am (supposed to be) a Christian (brought up Catholic) and have absolutely nothing against religion (in its myriad forms) unless it is being force-fed me, or anyone else for that matter. I don’t profess that these kids were being force-fed Christianity but there were certain points in the whole program that made me feel a little uncomfortable (read that with a straight face and a spadeful of salt, if you will).

First off, all lessons are converted into a Bible study – Imagine learning Politics with a Christian message, Science even – Law – (with song and dance attached, mind) What is that? It was like watching little Bushes run around spewing stuff they never seem to understand but have been shoved down their collective throats so often that they know nothing else. Like peas on your daily platter as a kid (none chewed, swallowed whole, come out the other end different (or same) ‘manure’ (for the uninitiated:Bullshit, or rather ‘Bushit’ if spoken in the ‘right’ accent – with the ‘gag’ effect shoved in :( (How many ‘puns’ not ‘pans’ or ‘pants’ can you read in that?)

(Ouch, I must be good with words, or I may be turning into a vegetable, peas (gagging not to use the ‘nothwithstanding’ reference) not in the menu LOLOL)

Dislaimer mid-rant: I was ’schooled’ in English for 4yrs by a ‘Certifiably Insane’ human – but, the best teacher I have had my whole life – so bear with me while I rant and rave around and about MY blog

What I saw was mini-adults who are way over their heads in things they are trying really hard to understand, and which they don’t seem to have been given much choice on. They haven’t had much contact with the outside world and when they are praying, you can actually see some of them ‘rebelling’ by not closing their eyes or just looking absolutely bored (same as I did in high school when we were called ‘devil worshippers’ cos we refused to get saved, religious beliefs notwithstanding

The message that came across (to me) was that these kids were being taught:

* The woman’s place is in the home and after marriage, once the kids arrive, that’s your (woman) career gone to the dogs.
* Sex should be confined in marriage, only
* No drugs, smoking, alcohol or any other worldly preasures
* Homosexuality is evil (and all other ways till September you can put this statement (notice the whole ‘same sex marriage is illegal bill’ being sold in the US at the moment)
* Christianity is the foremost (oldest) religion on Earth, all else is unimportant and not ‘according to the bible’ – Hinduism being the oldest religion notwithstanding
* While most of its ‘pre-selected’ students are home schooled, they haven’t had much contact with the ‘outside’ world, in case they are corrupted by the ‘unwashed masses’ – meaning you, me and your little brother (when the kids went to Washington, you could see how bloody scared they were, like they were fish out of water)
* The role of men and women are clearly defined in the bible, and ‘man’ shouldn’t change that.

Politics is not my forté, and neither is religion (I specialise in fast-food blogging and (not always, but meant to be) funny posts, or just yapping away like a little puppy that just needs someone to bark at/to – oh and urging people to donate blood and get on the bone marrow register, but that is neither here nor in Washington) – but I found this an uncomfortable platter to digest when the same nation churning these robopots (Guessaurus 666) by the classroom is the same one that is going into all sorts of wars claiming religions fundamentalism and insulting and defacing Islam all over the place while they are baking the same cookies in their own kitchens.

We will not mention the war (or rather Blair-speak for: we should not mention the Nazis/War, in Germany when we go to the World Cup, and lose – btw Mr. Prime Minister, if I should be so blunt as to point out) – which is starting in June 06 (3 days, to be precise) – and which we (notice the ‘WE’ reference, it is intended, no apologies), but then again, ‘we’ use ‘we’ when ‘we’ mean ‘I’, so do get lost in the translation already) last won in 6’66 – I digress, keeping with the whole 666 theme, although people I will not mention branded me the antichrist – and seeing that ‘we’ have so much in common, well, I am consigning them to the ‘loonie bin‘ – here comes another inmate – add to that Darius and by extension the Devious One. Oh how the commune is growing :)

And also, the whole parentheses business got lost in translation too, so insert same if so inclined.

We will not mention that we are branding nearly all Muslims terrorists, while we are happily spreading the greatness of our religious beliefs (read: Christianity)

We will not mention that you pre-empt strikes on nations who harbour (allegedly or otherwise) Nuclear weapons, while all along our allies (in the first world – who else hates this first and third world business like I do?) are happily baking, or have already baked and are selling in basketfuls, the same

We will not mention that you are mass-producing these radicals in your front yard, while trying to ‘out’ all other radicals all over the world – oh and another while, while we are preaching peace and equality and all that bull.
We will not mention some of the commandments thou has broken while serving office while also citing the Lord as your (insert what he cites him as, I am not mentioning, remember?)

Thou shall not kill
Thou shall not covet your neighbour’s wife (or property – and NO! Neighbour does not mean Canada)
Though shall not steal
Though shall not use the name of the Lord in vain
Thou shall not lie
Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbour (and that does not mean Canada – although, ok I am getting to be really bad)

6/10 is a sure sign that things aren’t as good as the good Lord would fancy right about now.

What exactly was this post about to begin with?

Oh I remember, them little robopots (LOL the spellchecker thinks that I mean reboots – what are the chances? LOL don’t get me geeky side out to play.

(All geeks go to town on this one – it will be a pleasure)

Points of note:

(Of the 40 or so minutes that I watched)

There were predominantly (blonde blue eyed) white students in school
There were no ‘coloured’ students, and only one ‘Oriental’ looking dude, he may have been anything (might be an ‘Indian American’ but he was on screen for a moment, so I couldn’t tell)
Every ‘male’ was tall – there were no shorties in there
When it came to canvassing and going to ‘firms’ for internships, there were no females in there
There kids seemed to be so out of their league, it was excruciating to watch
The women definitely seemed to defer to the men, although when interviewed, they tittered when giving their answered to same, but skewed towards the whole ‘Male is Superior – what can I do about it’ mode

Even the lecturers seemed to ‘be unsure’ and their voices seemed to ‘shake’ when they had to reference their teachings from the ‘text’ to the Bible.

The one ‘ex-student’ who had ‘backslid’ and come back to the fold, had to ‘testify’ to turning to drinking and smoking – and in turn confessed to losing his footing, his loads of jobs et al .. and he didn’t seem happy and willing to do that either (not sure if it were the vices or the confession, but who am I to judge)

This is like watching ‘Men in Black’ in a reverse kinda way – 10-15years down the line, the rest of the world – starting with America, will be swamped and we will all be checking our calorie count and dress sizes through the Bible

David Kureshi is definitely dancing in and above his grave on this version

Note: This is based on a one hour documentary (40 minutes worth of my time + 3, 3minute commercial breaks, do the math) so feel free to correct, inform, educate, rant, swear at, criticise, fanaticalise (I know it ain’t a word, save from obscure anti-religiousism, Bushism, Politikism, and all other ‘isms that you can find – but do please let me know what you think)

Oh and do the click on the links, all of them – Marvin wouldn’t be pleased if you didn’t.

And another Oh! (read Zero) I realise that this documentary wasn’t made in 60 minutes, so there is enough ‘cuts on the floor’ to give a different picture – literally – so ignore that and take this as is. I am!

Last, I have to stop using words like literally and notwithstanding, most things that are left unsaid notwithstanding, literally

This was literally a rant, disclaimer notwithstanding

Howbeit is also a ‘thesaurused‘ meaning of notwithstandingthesaurused being a made up word notwithstanding!


How Guessaurus is that?