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Gripes I – TV

I have recently found myself watching TV more than I would like to admit to the general public people who read this. Be that as it may, I am deciding to admit my couch potatoedness to the general publicyou lot just so I can vent. And yes, I am not trying to kick some backside, so don’t have some station’s manager knocking on my door, I don’t open it anyway. So there.

News

I am as much a lover of news as the next person. Actually I am addicted to finding out what is happening around the world. But, what is it with the news in Kenya that are soooo loooooong that you could fall asleep, dream you were watching the news, fart a few smelly ones, drool onto the pillow and wake up and the news would still be going on? And, and, I know that the news come in both Kiswahili and English, but damn, one Kiswahili one at 7pm that lasts till the cows come home, and an English one at 9pm that lasts until said cows are up to be milked. WTF? And not to mention that half of that stuff consists of just politics. JHC, its common knowledge that Kenyans love talking politics, but do you have to stuff the stuff down our throats to make a point? (Do not ask me to write about politics in Kenya cos I could be here till next Wednesday)
And, and, the news are in four channels – I mean, KBC, KTN, Citizen and NTV. At the same time, both times. Damn Damn.

And on the same News Bulletin..

When the reporters are..er.. reporting, why is it that their voices have that low start, and it gets higher as they go on and when they finish a sentence they are a few a whole lot of octaves higher? What is that? Do they have a ladder that they have to ascend as they speak? And it is all of them, in all of the channels.. That is bloody annoying if you ask me. But you didn’t ask, but I will tell you anyway.. ;)

Music (Or rather Hip Hop)

When it gets to around 1400hrs, the channels start channelling music videos – hip hop most of the time. Now, I love hip hop as much as the next human, but why is it that most of the TV channels just play music videos in the afternoon. Call me very old, but I find it quite annoying that I want to watch something, anything but all I get is half-naked women shaking their booty on around 4-5 channels out of 8 or so. I know some of you marketing buffs will go the whole ‘but they are providing what the audience demands’ – and don’t get me wrong, that is all well and dandy, but with the current youth obsessed with all things ‘wrong’ not very life-enhancing, wanting to be the next 50 or Jay Z, which in itself is not a crime – most of them love watching music videos (including my yet to be 2yr old niece) and I doubt after lunch any pre-teens mother is sitting around worrying what her young daughter/son is watching on TV. Do we have to stuff this shit stuff down young people’s throats? Isn’t there something else that they can watch if they have to be watching TV?

For a sample, check out NTV’s Guide for today and tell me how many times MTV (Base) appears on their list to name just one source of music?

Commercial Breaks

You gotta love watching TV here if you hate commercial breaks – they only last about a minute or so. Some of the channels just showing their logo and announcing their sponsors and then back to business. But what have I got against commercial breaks here? You ask. And I tell. I have noticed something with some channels where when they have to go on break, they cut whoever is talking or the movie midline. Think of it like this… ‘The president was hosting a delegation of leaders from… ‘ CUT. Then the commercial break, and then when we come back they rewind to where the sentence started. WTF? I mean, hasn’t anyone watched whatever they are airing first to decide where the break should be – do they just decide ‘ouch, we need a break now, someone press the red button now? I didn’t much care about that until last week when I was watching this really interesting which will not be named to save some face here human interest movie when midsentence they went on a commercial break. When we came back to the movie, they had rewound at least 15 minutes.. I do not lie – they did too. And I had to go through the same segment twice.. That was bloody awful and embarrassing :(

Gory Details

Now, we all have overactive imaginations, at least I will speak for self and say CSI, 6ft Under and other movies have made me desensitized to seeing dead bodies. But that is just TV – try watching a bleeding dead fella on the pavement after being shot, mangled or otherwisetotalled decapitated on TV. Let me tell you it makes dinner less appetising – to say the least. I don’t mind death being enacted in movies or series, but when it’s real, keep that stuff covered. My eating habits are appalling as it is.

LOL this I had to add…

Pronounciation.

I know some of you may consider telling me about the Queen’s English and all that malarkey but we I have not stopped ROTFLMAO at some Minister (I cannot tell who at this point, or what he AdMinisters) who pronounced the word Athletes as Athletees.. that is the funniest shit I have heard in a minute. You just had to be there to actually get it.

Hope you all had a great summer and for those with the oncoming chills that they dont extend to this here blog.