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It wasnt me :(


I have ‘beef’ with my phone, the text messaging function to be exact. If it hadn’t already fallen and broken once accidentally, I would show it what it means to be bang‘ out of order’

See, my intelligent phone supposedly stores all the ‘strange’ new words that you use, so next time you type the characters, it will easily give you the option of using said word – just like any other phone you guys have, right?

Well, then there is the other option where when you type ‘home’ you have the option of good, hood, gone etc – you know the drill.

A couple of points of note:

In most of my texts, I use the words ‘in’ ‘go’ etc – and supposedly my phone is supposed to offer me the option of using that combination the next time I want to type that – eg, if I typed ‘in’ last, it will be the first option offered, as opposed to ‘go’ – which uses the same combination of keys. Nothing new or strange there.

Now, on that same combination, I always get offered the word ‘ho’ as the first option. Every time. Which to my knowledge I have never used either in a text message or in conversation with anyone. My phone, being the intelligent ‘thing’ that it purports to be, got that word from? And what is even more worrying is, why does it always come up – how many times have I had to choose the next word and bypass ‘ho’– what is wrong with this gadget? Moreso what is it trying to tell me?

That is not even half-bad – most of us use the word ‘cool’ right? Well, whenever I type cool on my phone, it has the elongated word ‘Coolangatta’ offered as an option – WTF? I mean, has anyone ever met anyone who says Coolangatta?

Until today I thought it was just an annoyance, until I googled said word and found it’s actually a place in Australia. Now, how? (KM, 2006).

Oh you haven’t heard the last of this – not even close. Now, if I type my name, right? Don’t dare laugh even if you cant help it… apparently, I am a Martian… :D :D :D :D :D Mara 55.. I mean, its alright to be labelled an alien by the world, but isn’t my phone supposed to be, like, on my side or something? And you don’t even want me to tell you what comes up when I type my Surname – my dad would throw the phone out of the window.

Somebody else’s name has options like: Narcotic, Nasal, Obscene, Mascot – :D :D I am soooo dead people :D

Not fair I tell you

I call this T-Rex – the rise of the machines (only Nick should get that reference)

Lets see who else gets it first.

So please share the most embarrassing things you have encountered while sending or receiving text messages..

Both ………isssssss a monologue and the reverse do not count, although they make everybody’s day…

Fiction, It wasnt me :(

KBW, Anonymity and Spreading the Love

:D :D :D

Hello my dear readers (and commenters, and Nick)

When KBW was started it’s aim was to unite Kenyan bloggers and give them a central home (KuL).The one thing we have in common is that we are Kenyans, and although we are united on KBW off-line most of us wouldn’t know each other from Forrest Gump.

I did not know any other blogger personally before I joined, but that has since changed. We now have blog meet-ups, personal interactions, and sometimes you read someone’s blog and you realise they sound familiar and when you contact them, Hey Presto – they are that ex you would rather they not know who you are (eh Farmgal?)

So I had an Aha! moment this morning .. (wavy lines and sinister music..)

Seeing as you lot voted me the most interactive blogger (Fanks! :D ) I decided to lift it a notch (and probably get that vote again next year) and do some different interaction.

My brainwave of the week?

I have a card – just a regular greeting card, that I want to collect signatures off as many KBW bloggers across the world as I can.


It is my belief that we each know at least one blogger personally in KBW, so what I will do is send this card to one of you, when you receive it, sign it and then send it to someone else and so on. And yes, I want it back, sooner rather than later.
(Think that birthday card that is passed round the office for people to sign, without the £5.00 for the present)



1. Your anonymity is not under threat – you don’t need to put any personal details on the card – all I need is for you to sign your blog name on it – and preferably but not mandatory where you are based. E.g. Guessaurus, London England, NicholasGichu, Nyeri on Monday.

2. The easiest way for this to go round is to start with the nearest person locally – e.g. I will send this to the blogger I know their address in England, where it takes a day for surface mail to be delivered from one corner of the UK to another, so they will have it tomorrow, sign it and send it on to someone else, preferably in the UK so by Friday or Monday at the latest two or three people will have received and signed it. Then the last person this end can send it abroad – so lets do one country at a time if possible. I want it to go round the easiest route if possible.

3. Once you receive the card, buy an envelope (A4, it’s a little big) address it to the next person, and send it on (Du’h, I wouldn’t expect you to cross out the existing address and write the next one, although we cant put that past some of you! – and of course, it protects your anonymity.

4. It would be handy to ask the person you are sending it to before you do – not because they are grumpy and wouldn’t want to participate, but they may be going out of town, or country (Mutumia/Kipepeo), or even moving house thereby killing the whole thing. I want my card back.

5. Once you send it on, come back here and let us know so I can keep track of it (and obviously rouse those who are lazier than I am to keep it going (and I haven’t met anyone lazier than me yet).

6. If you can hand-deliver the card to someone (or a few), it will make the process easier and faster – and add a message if you are drunk and disorderly so we can have a laugh too! So for you doing meet-ups, if you have it, take it with you!

7. Non-KBW bloggers and non-bloggers (wananchi) can sign it too, so long as they reference you the blogger who passed it on (but take responsibility of posting it on please)

The whole point of the exercise?

There is a hidden camera in the card that records everything you do for the duration you have it. Ha!!

I just want to see how long it will take to globe-trott the KBW blogosphere in an envelope – as opposed to a mouse.

What happens if you don’t know anyone’s personal address on KBW?

Well, you have advance warning, go forth and procreate.. er.. sorryinteract.


Do not lose it, pour coffee or worse on it, fold it 20 times, give it to your nephew to play with, hide it, ignore it, pee on it, let the dog chew it, use it as a beer mat – or I am sending Marvin to get you!

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Anything I have left out?